An air conditioning does need cleaning – short story

“10-ish in the morning, then they are coming to service the air conditioning, remember?”

“Yeah, I remember”


I couldn’t keep on chatting as the air conditioning service tried to call: “I’m mat saleh (whiteman/foreigner), I no speak Malay”. End.

Whatsapp: “I’m mat saleh, I no speak Malay. What time are you coming?”

“on our way”


Shit. I didn’t shower yet. RUNNNNNNnnnnnnn, give the cat food, put the dishes nicely, swept the outside floor, OMG so little time for a shower, boiled some water, brother in law returns, “Hey Bangcik! How are you?” back in the house, naked, water on, too cold lah!

I’m lucky to have hair/body/face-wash in one bottle, imagine having to use 3 bottles! <—- scary!


They are late.

There they are!



Do they understand English better than they pretend to understand?! Yeah. I think they do. Suspicious.

I don’t like people in my private space. Air conditioning is hanging kind of above the bed. Okokokokok. Come lah.

OMG! Those filters are nnnnaaaasssttttyyyyy! No wonder that the air conditioning was squeezing and swirling. Hey, they cannot open something, let’s get the user manual.


OMG clean the filter every 2 weeks? Then… I am 52 weeks late, on the day. Kind of. I do need to clean that more often for sure.

God, I feel such a silly white man in the tropics who isn’t used to air conditioning. In Europe we have heating, you know, those radiators, iron, with hot water running through them. Cleaning cloth, moist, swipe, ready! Piece of cake!

“Excuse me” (I’m trying to be polite) “Can you move the outside ventilating unit (whatever the name is) to the bathroom wall? Now it’s next to my ear, quite noisy at night. How much would that cost?”

“Apa?” <—- What? (in Malay)

“Bangcikkkkk!! Can you come and translate?”



“Oh okay, maybe next time, my wife, the boss, needs to agree”



“Okay, boleh (<—- Can in Malay), she agrees.”

“Can we have discount? I do give you extra income right here on the spot you didn’t count with” blink blink.

“RM450 ok?” – sigh…

I came outside from walking back and forth everywhere. Poepie is gone, too busy around the house, cannot blame her at all!


Is… that…. our…. air conditioning? All apart, plastic bag around the electronics, being plant sprayed with chemicals and that’s being washed off with water from a garden hose, on our garbage container in the back yard?


I wished I was Poepie.

All should be dry now. Oh hey! The unit has moved! Vacuuming the pipes as air and gas cannot be mixed.

Yeeeyyyy done!



I cannot hide my excitement! No more buzzing! No more rattling of a dusty ventilator drilling through the outer wall at night. Especially at night. So it seems. Now seemed.

I will sleep so well now!

Moral of the story – CLEAN YOUR BLOODY AIR CONDITIONING and have all units at the right place from the start!

P.s. I did get discount! 😀





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