I want to want
If life is a U, then, in September ’14, I was somewhere in the bottom and this is what I wrote as answer to the question: “Daniel, what do you want?”
“What I want?
I want to want.
I want to want to breathe the air and enjoy.
I want to want to enjoy walking in the forest, sit down, relax, open up and listen.
Listen to the birds, listen to the leafs that are changing color in a mild autumn breeze.
I want to want to be able to enjoy the sight of a waterfall, a waterfall of water and not the endless stream of thoughts in my mind or words coming out of me.
I want to want to be able to follow a routine, how boring it may sound. Just to finish something I’ve started without letting it go again.
I want to want stability and peace inside myself so I can actually focus on something outside of me and enjoy the capabilities I do have.
I want to want to feel real attachments with more than one person and feel real friendship.
I want to want many more things but at first I want to burst the bubble, the bubble that prevents me from truly wanting the above.
In this bubble I can feel bad, content and super good, still there is a disconnection from reality.
I want to burst that bubble and live – That’s what I want.”
May 19th 2016 – Yesssss!!! That bubble has bust and… I’m baaaaaacccckkkkk!!!!